A marriage is one of life’s greatest achievements and most enjoyable moments for a couple. It can often be marketed as the ultimate state of happiness, truth be told, marriages have two sides. A marriage can also intensify whatever imbalanced perceptions (infatuation or resentment) either partner may feel for each other.
Too often loving couples don’t take the time to properly prepare for their future. After working with hundreds of couples and identifying what leads to anger, aggression, blame, betrayal, cheating, divorce, criticism, challenge and feelings of wanting to escape or exit marriages, I have compiled 5 essential steps which can increase relationship longevity and appreciation.
1. Dissolving all past relationship charges
This involves dissolving all resentments and infatuations for previous relationships. These are your triggers that ultimately frustrate you in the future when reminded of past patterns. Doing so will clear up your mind, allowing you to be present in the moment with your partner and not fearful they will repeat traits or actions from past failed relationships.
2. Be clear about your values, as well as your partners
Your values are what is truly most important to you. Understanding both your values and your partner’s values will open up communication, allowing both of you to feel more appreciated within the relationship.
3. Be clear on both of your future expectations in all seven areas of life
Your partner cannot read your mind. Be clear on the things that are most important to both of you and your partner in life (e.g. kids, holidays, work, goals, family). It is important to understand how marriage will change, add or subtract from your identified values. Understand that anything you don’t plan for, will rise to be a future obstacle that you may face unexpectedly.
4. Link what you both value
A majority of relationships are made up of a perfect balance of complementary opposites. By learning to link your partner’s top values to your own, you allow the relationship to organically grow. Increasing the levels of gratitude and appreciation without feeling like you need to change them or you.
5. Dissolving all imbalanced perceptions on your current partner
If you find something you perceive your partner did or didn’t do in the past still frustrates you, then you are continuing to carry baggage for days, weeks, months or years after the event occurred. Using The Demartini Method®, an advanced tool in psychological development, you and your partner can individually clear past charges to create a new enlightening and more empowered relationship.
When all 5 steps are complete, a couple opens themselves up to experiencing true unconditional love of the heart. When we love our partner for who they authentically are instead of continually trying to change them, they become who we love. Successful marriages aren’t about being with someone forever; they are about being fulfilled with someone forever. Give yourself and your partner the perfect wedding present and take these 5 powerful action steps today!